Okay, Whatever.

Sometimes a tv show, a book, or a film comes out, and the pedigree of those involved is so strong that it must be good. You feel compelled to love this product. But you don’t. And maybe you feel guilty about that, or disloyal for not loving their creation.

It happens to everyone. It happens to me regularly. So I’ve decided to put together a list of things I should have liked, but didn’t.

Steven Erikson’s “Dust of Dreams”

“Gardens of the Moon” is such a wonderful book, as are most of the rest of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series, up until “Reaper’s Gale”, which is good but muddled and very, very slow. “Dust of Dreams” is muddled writ large: The book slogs its way through 800 unnecessary pages before anything actually happens. I like a good character study as much as anyone, but like the TV show “House”, a large part of the book seems to be people’s and creatures’ mumbled introspection. Most of this introspection reads like they just got their character description and used a thesaurus.

I’m reading through “Dust of Dreams” a second time; hopefully this second reading will help change my mind about the book (which I desperately want to like), but so far it seems to be clarifying why I didn’t.

Snow Patrol’s “A Hundred Million Suns”

“Eyes Open” was a fantastic album. It wasn’t an ambitious technical and artistic masterpiece, but it was full of great riffs, great tunes, and get-to-the-point lyrics. Even “Final Straw”, with it’s many missteps, can be forgiven its weaknesses in light of its strengths. But “A Hundred Million Suns” was utterly forgettable. I listened to it once and forgot about it… until I was unfortunately reminded of it again today.

When “A Hundred Million Suns” first came out, I was excited to hear it. I love Snow Patrol, in spite of myself. I wanted it to be another permanent-repeat record like “Eyes Open”. But it wasn’t. It’s alright, I suppose, but a thousand other bands are doing more exiting things.

The Good Guys

Let’s be clear here: I love Matt Nix. Burn Notice is a fantastic television series (and USA is a fantastic network for a particular type of tv show). I love Bradley Whitford. If he wasn’t part of the cast of The West Wing, I don’t think I could watch the show. I love Colin Hanks. He has a sort of baby-faced good-boy charm, which explains his casting. His appearances on Numb3rs were some of that show’s highlights for me.

But The Good Guys? Meh. Blah. Feh. It should work. It’s got that impressive pedigree. It’s got the low-key humour, the action, all that stuff, but it doesn’t have the edge that Burn Notice has. It’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. Hard to put into words, but I get fidgety when I watch The Good Guys. I want to do something else. And so it is that I’ve stopped watching.

Finding Nemo, A Bug’s Life, Cars

Ah, Pixar. So very many fabulous films have flown from your beautiful nest. Toy Story was (literally) a revolutionary film, but also a film full of wonder and adventure. Toy Story 2 was even better than Toy Story in almost every way. Monsters Inc (still the best Pixar film in my opinion) was stunningly original. The Incredibles is probably the best superhero film ever made, bar none. Wall-E was minimalistic, retro-futuristic, delightful, and showed that even without much dialogue and exposition, a film can be moving and pointed. Up was almost indescribable; it had at its core a love story, but a love story wrapped in action and adventure. It was delightfully different from any other animated film I’ve ever seen, not simply in content, but in theme (who else could build an animated film on nostalgia alone?).

And then there are the other. Finding Nemo. A Bug’s Life. And especially, Cars. I didn’t connect with these films or enjoy watching them. I wanted to like them. I really did. I want to think the whole Pixar canon magical. But I can’t. Because of these three films.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

I’m starting to think Aaron Sorkin is a one-hit-wonder. He probably shouldn’t exist in television, instead sticking to plays and films. But there he was, first with Sports Night, an utterly baffling sitcom/not-sitcom. Not surprisingly, Sorkin was writing about writing. Then came the West Wing, where once again, Sorkin was writing about writing but managed to find a way to wrap the writing about writing in something a bit more exciting. The West Wing was a fantastic show for 4 seasons, and a middling show for 3 more, but it deserved the praise and the viewership it got. I especially enjoyed Matthew Perry’s bit part, as I quite like a lot of Perry’s work.

So let it be said that I adore Mr Sorkin’s writing (about writing or about anything, really; he could write about a toaster and toast and I would watch it), I like Mr Perry and wish him every possible success, and I think Mr Whitford is among the best television actors of our times.

How did Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip manage to stink so much? I’m not exactly sure. But its cancellation was a mercy killing. While writing about writing (again!), Mr Sorkin displayed a stunning lack of the funny that he somehow managed to bring to The West Wing, which was truly charming at its most jovial, and bitingly awesome at its most pointed. Something that Studio 60 lacked. Completely. For a show about comedy… it was too serious.

I’m not sure what Mr Sorkin has in store for the rest of his career (though I can image we’re going to have a show where Mr Sorking writes about writing something), but I think there’s a lesson to be learned here.

That’s All, Folks

I’m out of time here… but I’d love to hear some feedback on this. Anything you were supposed to love but didn’t? Hit me up in the comments.

I read an article that basically said you should stop being a snob about which network your shows are on.

Guess what? I agree. I’m basically a gigantic snob, but funny is funny is funny. That’s it. I happen to think 30 Rock is hilarious. I have a hit-and-miss relationship with Scrubs. The Office is totally old hat now (it had a good run while it was fresh).

But you know what? How I Met Your Mother is made out of pure awesome welded to 100 proof amazing. Samantha Who is almost great television. The Big Bang Theory is comedy gold, maybe the funniest show I’ve seen in years, even if the humour sometimes feels like being repeatedly hit in the face with a funny stick.

My Name is Earl is not funny. Two and a Half Men is not funny. That is all.

• I am unbelievably sick of people who always say things like, “Well, what are you doing about it?” It’s one of those cop-out phrases. Like how you can say “lighten up!” as a way of being a jerk. Or how you can say “deal with it!” as a way of avoiding having to deal with it. Either you agree or you don’t. If you say “put up or shut up!” then you follow your own advice.
• How do you know when you’ve drunk too much coffee? Where’s that point where you say enough?
• I’m having one of those days where everything is terribly busy and nothing seems to get done. Yeah, I’m blogging for a minute, but the rest of the day seems to be filled with doing things and more doing things, only when I look back I don’t see the results of having done any of those things.
• Laura and I had tacos for dinner last night. A simple, cheap, and delicious meal. I think we might do that more often.
• There’s a writer’s strike going on in TV land right now, in case you didn’t know. That means that all our favourite shows are over and done with, maybe or probably for the season. No more How I Met Your Mother, no more Big Bang Theory, no more House, no more Scrubs, no more Pushing Daisies. Sad times. But we can go back and watch things we missed, like 30 Rock, and… that’s about it. It’s one of my favourite new shows now.
• I would like my desktop to be able to follow me anywhere I go. Why is that not possible? Why can’t I call my desktop up securely on a public terminal? I know, the staggering technical hurdles and the nightmare of implementing this idea. But… super cool, right?
• I’m away from the Rumour Forum for a while, guys. Except for the boards I have access to, and they’re not much. But when I come roaring back to the fold, my pockets stuffed to overflowing with cash money dollars, it’ll be a day to celebrate.


Attribution / License

You know, after last night’s How I Met Your Mother, I can definitively say the show is my favourite sitcom. It’s also my favourite show to watch; you know the one you can’t wait to sit down and watch? The one you gather the family around the couch to view? How I Met Your Mother is that show.

And yet the writers strike will disrupt my joy in the show. This does not make me happy.

While watching Boston Legal last night, I was disturbed by a particularly uninformed opinion. Not their usual flaming liberal bias — I can make my peace with that — but the inclusion of Steve Ballmer’s name in a list of innovators, along with the Woz and Steve Jobs. Mr Shore all but admitted they just wanted a list of people named “Steve”, but still. When has Steve Ballmer ever innovated anything? I can get on board with calling Paul Allen an innovator in some limited sense. Even Bill Gates.

But Ballmer? What?

I’m not trying to flame, but let’s at least include some real innovators, like — as much as I hate to say it — Richard Stallman, who literally changed software forever. Or John McCarthy, who invented LISP, among other things. Or Tim Berners-Lee, who pretty much invented the internet.

Ready your TiVos and your Torrent apps… How I Met Your Mother begins its stunning 3rd season tonight!

• I’m listening to the Beach Boys right at this very moment. Check my Last.fm page for more detailed information. I plan to follow Pet Sounds up with Brian Wilson’s SMiLE, though I might break down and find some more recent music first.
• The US government should split into divisions and IPO each one. You know, make it splashy. Why not? If America really values wealth more than anything else, should not those with the most wealth be able to participate more fully in the government?
• I had a hard time getting to sleep last night and then woke up early this morning. Not a good combination. Needs coffee.
• Why is it that when people see a problem with an obvious solution, they decide not to enact that obvious solution? I mean… I just don’t get it.
• Boston Legal is a pretty awesome show. David E. Kelley is a pretty awesome creator of shows.
• I’m especially boring today. That’s it, folks!

Later:

• As it turns out, my cousin Bethany has had a baby girl, and named her Mackenzie (not sure of the spelling!) Hope. Congratulations!
• I’m listening to Bob Dylan’s The Times They Are A-Changin’ now. I sense a disturbing trend here.

I mean, it must have by now, right? I stopped watching in the midst of the second season, mainly because the plot stopped being even remotely interesting, and began to verge on the ridiculous. Like, I might add, every single J.J. Abrams show ever.

Readers, feed me back: has Lost jumped the shark yet? Or should I start watching again?

ABC is streaming full-length TV episodes on its website, something they should have been doing years before now, but hey, it’s alright. The quality is much poorer than regular television in much the same way as regular television is much poorer than a high quality HD rip torrent, but it’s something. And it’s on-demand, so it come when I call it.

One small problem: it’s only available in the US. Bummer. But with a little kung-fu magic of my own (open US proxy paired with ProxySwitch in Firefox), I can watch no problem. Oh you silly studios and your silly restrictions that are so easy to get around.

dan (but still… there you have it)