Me Dutch. Have lots money. Not give you any.

Okay, since Sarah addressed Dutchness, I’m going to have to as well. Too beautiful a peach to leave hanging.

I mean, our Dutchness (at least amongst the youth) has generally devolved to the point of it being butt of jokes more often than a source of pride. Though I do know a few guys who swear by their frilly lace curtains. But I don’t know about them. Really.

But there’s still these old hardcore people out there that just love the fact that they have this enormous heritage. Maybe they’re compensating or something. But I always ask, what heritage? There’s good things, sure. But there’s a whole lot of bad in the mix. Certainly not something to be horribly proud of.

I mean check out this Calvin guy. The hero of every Dutch Reformer. For goodness sakes, people, the man was French! It seems in the five hundred proceeding years of history, the Dutch people co-opted this Frenchman and his theology and made him theirs.

So what else have the Dutch people done that they deserve our eternal and undying ethnic gratitude? Have they fought bravely in wars? Sure, but not many of them. Have they explored the world? Some of it. Have they produced musicians without number? No. They do, however, have two painters. Rembrandt and Van Gogh. Who apparently tore his own ear off.

I’d have to search the internet, but for Holland’s comparitive contribution to the world, we’re doing pretty badly here, aren’t we? England’s just a bit bigger, and they conquered most of the known world, from America to India and back again. They left their influence everywhere they went, and India still owes them a huge debt of gratitude for the advancements they provided to that once-backwards country.

Dutch East Indies? Is that the one? Ah. Nice empire. Feel free to flame me now, but at least the Germans can claim to be everlastingly evil. I come from a background of almost-runs.